Saying “no” in NOvember
A client who is a senior leader in her organisation, told me recently that even though she took a week’s leave allocation from work, because she was ‘only’ at home, there was an unspoken expectation by her colleagues that she would respond to questions, calls or look at message threads.
It made me wonder whether, as a ‘superwoman’ there was an expectation that she wouldn’t say no.
How is it that some people have the knack of both setting boundaries, and acting on them? They commit only to events, projects and requests that are important to them at that moment, and still manage to navigate their way through the potential trip wires of etiquette or company politics, somehow managing to say no in a positive way.
We’ve been looking for the answers, and this is what we found.
Protect your time
Simply put, block time ahead in your calendar for your own priorities – not only during work hours, but in your own time too. Remember, every 'yes' to something less critical is a 'no' to something that could truly enrich your career, relationships or home life.
Safeguarding your time isn't just about refusal, it's about strategic intention to ensure the commitments you make align with your personal ethos and professional ambitions.
Ask questions
Questioning is a strategic tool to empower decision-making. By asking the right questions, you can assess the true value of the request. Asking questions doesn’t have to sound like interrogation. It’s an opportunity to show interest in the ask and the asker. It's a sophisticated approach to evaluate the opportunity cost, and align with your overarching life goals.
Say yes slowly
The impulse to show support to others and be a team player might jolt a reflex to immediately agree and take on something important to someone else, but not you. Especially in fast paced environments where the opportunity to reflect and take a moment to consider is limited.
But the power of a paused 'yes'—giving yourself the breathing space to evaluate the call on your time against your priorities—is immense. It's not indecision; it's intelligent internal dialogue. Combined with questioning, this is a powerful tool.
Negotiate ‘no’
Negotiation is an art, and a well-negotiated 'no' can open doors to other more appropriate 'yeses'. With finesse this is a great way to reach middle ground where you may be able to give a partial yes (or no) on your own terms. This negotiation strategy means you’re not giving a rejection but a redirection, allowing you to re-assert your priorities.
Rehearse your ‘no’
With some well thought out words that you’ve practiced in advance and have in your back pocket, you’ll have a loose script ready which will prevent you from being caught off guard.
The words can establish a clear and respectful boundary. They’re a straightforward statement of what is important to you.
Delegate
If you’re still feeling ‘painted into a corner’, this is where you need support. Though this isn’t about offloading the thing you don’t want to do to someone else. It's about making sure that you’re investing your expertise where it matters and has impact, while maintaining momentum in all areas.
With Consider it Done on your side, intelligent delegation is your gateway to balance and breathing space, allowing you to perform at your best.